


Is there magic in the midnight sun

by trilliastra



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Misunderstandings, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 11:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2066625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trilliastra/pseuds/trilliastra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“No.” It's not the distance making him uneasy. It's something else, a turmoil of feelings. Pain and happiness so extremely connected he can't tell them apart, sorrow and regret, loneliness and then love. Love so pure and so strong it leaves him lightheaded, the world spinning around while Stiles gasps for air.</p><p>Those are his feelings, Stiles realizes. His feelings intensified by the Magic the way it always is when he's close to –</p><p>“Derek.” With Isaac following him close, Stiles promptly starts to run, trusting his instinct and the Magic to guide him.</p><p>Six years, he remembers.</p><p>Too fucking long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is there magic in the midnight sun

“According to your freakish long list we still have to buy mistletoe berries and – damn I can't even read what's written here.” Laughing, Stiles takes the list from Isaac and reads it himself.

“Lavender, moron.” He hands it back and motions for Isaac to follow him. “I think the place is not far from here.”

“You used to get your weird ingredients in Beacon Hills, why suddenly we have to come all the way to Idaho so you can buy this herbs?”

“Because Deaton retired and now he refuses to give me information about his 'contacts'.” He quotes, rolling his eyes. “It makes me feel like we're some kind of Mage mob.”

“Deaton is fucking weird.” Isaac huffs, obviously nervous for being too far from Beacon Hills, his instincts begging him to go back to his pack. Stiles smiles, squeezes his shoulder trying to offer some comfort when in reality he can't help but feel nervous too. It's a long drive to Idaho and the distance makes him feel all jittery and uncomfortable, the Magic tying him to Beacon Hills a constant buzz in his head.“Let's hurry and buy everything so we can go home.”

“You didn't have to come with me.”

“Like I would leave you alone.” Isaac smirks and claps his back. “Shut up, it's okay.” 

Even though Stiles hates to depend on other people to anchor himself, it's nice to have someone with him. “Yeah. I don't think we're that far, come on.” It's his first time in Boise but definitely not the last, Deaton decided to retire and left Stiles to handle his Mage powers by himself, with all the responsibility of being a Protector. 

“Hey.” Isaac calls and the concern in his voice makes Stiles drop his thoughts and look around wide eyed and confused. God, he though he was doing okay. “I think we should go back.” He motions to the dying trees around them. “The distance is really affecting you.”

He shakes his head, because now he can feel it's not the same. “No.” It's not the distance making him uneasy. It's something else, a turmoil of feelings. Pain and happiness so extremely connected he can't tell them apart, sorrow and regret, loneliness and then love. Love so pure and so strong it leaves him lightheaded, the world spinning around while Stiles gasps for air. “No.” He whispers again, knees going weak and stomach clenching painfully.

Those are his feelings, Stiles realizes. His feelings intensified by the Magic the way it always is when he's close to –

“Derek.” With Isaac following him close, Stiles promptly starts to run, trusting his instinct and the Magic to guide him.

Six years, he remembers.

Too fucking long.

–– 

“You're wrong.” Derek says, one arm circling Stiles' shoulders as he opens the door for them.

“If you don't admit I'm going to sing you don't know you're beautiful until your ears start bleeding.” Stiles retorts, smirks when Derek rolls his eyes, the tip of his ears going pink. “Come on, it's not so hard. Admit she was flirting with you because you're hotter than the sun.”

“You're an idiot.” He drags Stiles to a table near the windows and orders two milkshakes. “Why do you keep saying these things? Do you want me to chose them over you?”

“No!” Stiles squeaks and Derek smiles, triumphant. “Stop with your face asshole. I just want you to feel like you're – you know –” He trails off embarrassed. “good. Because I know sometimes you don't feel good enough and I hate it, so –”.

“I don't need other people telling me I'm hot and that we should totally have sex on their kitchen table –”

“Shut up! She didn't -” 

“Yes, she did.” Derek corrects and Stiles gapes because that's not something you say to someone else's boyfriend. That's not even remotely okay, he needs to go back to the store and turn her into a frog or something. “But it doesn't matter. I don't need to know people want to have sex with me, because I have you. And that's everything I need.” Derek reaches for his hand, keeps staring at Stiles with this adorable little smile. Stiles can't help but smile back, huge and happy. The magic is rushing through his body and dancing in his chest. It makes him him feel invincible.

“You're a big ball of fluff.” Stiles giggles, leans over the table to kiss Derek. Their fingers still intertwined makes the spark of magic inside Stiles grow. “I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you, too.” When Derek replies fireworks explode inside Stiles' head and he's happy, so happy he throws his head back and just laughs.

Outside someone screams.

–– 

Even though he's happy to see Derek again, the wave of pain and guilt that followed makes everything more complicated.

From across the street he watches Derek talking to a blonde girl and laughing, expression careless and content. Stiles is already regretting running after him when Derek tenses and turns around, spotting Stiles and Isaac immediately.

“What do I do?” He whispers, his eyes fixed on Derek. “Isaac, what do I -”

“Come on.” Isaac says before dragging him by the hand to where Derek and the girl are.

 _'Bad idea, fucking stupid idea'_ Stiles keeps repeating to himself while Derek holds his gaze, expressionless. Although Stiles is pretty good at reading people and the Magic helps most of the time, it was always practically impossible for him to solve the puzzle that is Derek. 

The blonde girl is looking from Stiles to Derek, confused, and it suddenly hits him that she could be Derek's girlfriend, maybe even his fiancé. _'Six years'_ , he reminds himself – Derek could be married for all Stiles knows.

“Derek.” Isaac says before hugging him fiercely and Derek holds him back just as strong. It's a werewolf thing – the touching – especially with their Pack. Stiles tries to pretend he's not jealous of the smile Derek directs Isaac. “I had no idea you'd be here.” It's a statement more for Stiles' sake than the others, it means Isaac didn't know and he didn't planned anything – and it's okay, Stiles is used to his own bad luck by now.

“I'm visiting Erica.” He answers and gestures to the blonde girl who smiles and waves at them, watching Stiles curiously. She looks cute in jeans and boots. 

Stiles wants to throw up. “You cut your hair.” He blurts out before he can really stop himself, and immediately wants to crawl into a hole and die. A spark of panic bursts in his chest and a hydrant explodes two blocks down.

“And you got taller.” Derek retorts with the same blank expression, not even bothering with the crowd behind them. He's probably used to it, when they were together Stiles used to accidentally blow things all the time. “It was good to see you, but we need to go.” He rushes to say. Stiles squeezes his eyes shut, takes a deep breath. God, he hates Idaho, hates Deaton for retiring and hates himself for not being good enough for Derek. 

With a last nod, Derek takes Erica's hand and begins to walk away without a second glance. Thinking before acting was never Stiles' forte so it's easy to just let the anger controls the Magic, it's easy to let it rip a road sign and block Derek and Erica's way.

“That's it?” He demands furious. Erica looks at him, scared, and he basks in it – in being able to make her fear him. “It was good to see you?” He mocks, the sign starting to shatter, but it doesn't matter because Derek still isn't looking at him. “Six years Derek. Do you remember the last thing you said to me? It was that stupid phone call.” He spits, wanting to hurt Derek as much as Derek hurt him. “It was my birthday and I thought – hey, Derek is calling me so he must be ready. He must think I'm ready! But then you said you weren't coming back, said I should quit waiting for you. That it wasn't going to do me any good.” Isaac is trying to calm him down and there are people watching them, whispering all kinds of things. Erica is looking at Derek furiously and Stiles can't help but think _'good, see who he really is. See what he's done to me'_. “You don't remember what I said then? 'I should've known when you said you were leaving' and you answered with a stupid 'yeah Stiles, I can't believe you really waited for me'.”

The sign is on fire now and people are screaming, someone must have called the cops but Stiles can't stop looking at Derek's back. 

“Who are you, Derek?” He urges. “The guy who told me he loved me or the fucking asshole who dragged me around for four years just to dump me over the phone?” Derek finally turns to look at him and his face gives nothing. Stiles' blood is boiling and he wants to scream and set more things on fire, wants to punch Derek and destroy his car, wants to paint Erica's stupid blonde hair with the most horrible color and scare her - but at the same time he feels like running, leaving Boise and Beacon Hills behind, leaving his dad and Scott and the rest of the Hale Pack that despite everything still treats him like family. “Who, Derek?” His eyes are burning with tears but he won't let himself cry in front of Derek. There are cops yelling at him to stop the fire but he can't do it, not if Derek is still looking at him like that.

“Neither.” He answers, eyes flashing blue for a second. “Stay away from me.” With a last hard look, he takes Erica's hand again and leaves. This time Stiles can't make himself stop them.

–– 

“I don't know how to control it.” He sobs, holding his dad as hard as he can. “Deaton said I have to find a way to do it myself but how, dad?”

“You'll find a way, son. Just give it time.” His dad sighs, pets Stiles' hair and shushes him softly. “Your mother struggled to find a way to control it. You're not the only –”

“But nobody died because of her!” He screams. “She didn't set a house on fire, dad!” It's not the first time it happened, he's used to the magic exploding things, but when he was kid his powers were weak. Two years ago he couldn't even make his mom's sunflowers grow, now it seems like everything around him is catching fire. He's lucky Deaton and Talia managed to explain for the Town Council that it only happens when he's really upset.

Everybody knows that Mages have a hard time controlling their powers but for Stiles control is almost impossible. The training with Deaton and Ms. Morell was helping him, he was finally happy, going out and having fun, he was _in love._

Then a house caught fire and the old Mr. Huang died. It doesn't matter if his dad says Mr. Huang chose to stay inside, that he's been thinking about killing himself – Stiles shouldn't have started the fire in the first place.

“Don't do this to yourself, Stiles. It's not your fault.” He stops to take a breath, runs a hand through Stiles' hair. “You'll learn control. Don't give up just yet, please.” He keeps crying in his dad's arms, sobbing even more furiously when his dad leaves to answer the door.

“Stiles.” Derek calls, stepping inside the bedroom. He sounds broken, like he can actually feel Stiles' pain.

Their hug is desperate and Stiles didn't know he could cry so much in one day. “I don't know what to do anymore.” He sniffs. “I'm afraid about what's going to happen next, Derek!”

“Nothing.” He whispers in Stiles' ear. “It'll get better. I'll help you, okay? Trust me.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

–– 

Stiles spent most of his life getting in and out of a Police Station, but only because his dad is the Sheriff and never because he got arrested.

There's a first time for everything, he figures.

He's lucky Isaac is with him so he can explain everything, call Stiles' dad and get money to pay the bail. By the time the cops set him free it's after midnight and he's exhausted, barely acknowledges the lecture the officer gives him about safe use of Magic.

Isaac gets a room for them in a cheap hotel and Stiles apologizes a thousand times for putting him through this. When Isaac snorts and says he's used to Stiles' crazy antiques, Stiles manages a weak laugh before going to take a shower.

He lets the water wash his thoughts involving Derek's cold expression, wash the pain and the remnants of the Magic off his mind and body. When he collapses on the bed, the exhaustion takes over and he's asleep within a minute.

–– 

“You think the Pixies will be okay?” 

“Mom said she would help them get rid of the Ghoul, don't worry.”

“I should be helping too. I will get some books with Deaton and bring to your mom tonight. I promise!” Despite Talia saying it's not a problem, that he shouldn't be involved with other supernatural beings affairs because it's important for him to not take sides, he knows better. The Ghoul only invaded the Pixies' territory because somehow Stiles managed to mess with the cemetery's energy when he visited his mom's grave last week. Deaton said it was probably due to some really emotional exchange, but fuck, it's his mom's grave. He has a _right_ to be emotional if he wants to.

“Don't worry about it.” Derek repeats, walks Stiles from the Camaro to the front-door in a totally romantic way that makes Stiles feel all giddy. “Just be careful next time you go to the cemetery.”

“Yeah. And to the coffee shop, the drugstore and the library.” He replies, aiming for casual but missing by a mile. “What's wrong with me?”

“You're just going through a hard moment.” Derek says, bringing a hand to squeeze Stiles' shoulder.

The effect is immediate and brutal – it's like a shock wave, making Stiles shiver and his hands start to shake. Derek is blinking, confused and when he looks down to Stiles his face softens.

“That was -”

“Intense.” Stiles completes for him and laughs nervously. When Derek cups his cheek, Stiles smiles softly and Derek replies with the most adorable smile Stiles has ever seen.

“Yeah.” He agrees, his body radiating heat against Stiles'. “It really was.” The kiss is sweet and chaste at first, but when Stiles circles Derek's neck with his arms and brings him closer everything changes. It gets intense – Derek nips at his bottom lip and Stiles pours everything he has into that one kiss, his happiness, his love, _the magic_. He's panting by the time Derek moves from his mouth to his jaw and neck, hands mapping Stiles' torso under his shirt.

The bright lightning followed by a heavy thunder makes Derek jump and Stiles hides his laugh against his chest. “It's always like this with you?” Derek asks in the middle of sucking a mark over Stiles' pulse point.

“I wouldn't know.” Stiles answers honestly. “I never felt anything like this before.” He smiles shyly and buries his face on the crook of Derek's neck.

“Me neither.” Derek says and they both laugh when there's another thunder.

–– 

It's exactly 7:59 when someone starts knocking on their door. Stiles groans because he was planning to sleep for at least three more hours and Isaac buries his face under a pillow, but the pounding don't stop.

“Fuck.” He curses and throws his pillow at Isaac. “Go open the door.”

“Why me? It's probably the cops checking –” He stops, sits completely still on the bed, eyes flashing gold. 

“What?” Stiles asks, shifts so he's sitting and watching the door too.

“Werewolf.” Isaac groans and Stiles' stomach sinks. It's not Derek because Isaac wouldn't react like this, but it can't be a coincidence.

“Great, you're up.” The guy says from outside. “Sorry to wake you.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Isaac asks and Stiles rushes to put on a shirt. 

“Boyd.” He answers and Isaac sighs in relief.

“Do you know him?” The Hale Pack has a lot of allies, so it's not impossible for Isaac to know them, but Stile never heard Talia mentioning any pack in Boise.

“Yeah.” He clears his throat before looking at Stiles apologetically. “Hum – Derek told me about him over the phone.”

“Oh.” There it is, the pain again. He wonders how long it will take for him to hear Derek's name without feeling sick.

“I can go talk to him outside if you –”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Don't be an idiot, it's okay. If you can trust him, open the door.” Isaac looks at him for a minute, studying Stiles' expression and heartbeat for a sign of discomfort, but Stiles smiles and gestures towards the door again.

“Hi.” Boyd says as soon as Isaac lets him in. He's tall and strong and hot, Stiles must admit – because probably all werewolves are. “Sorry about the hour but I really needed to talk to you.”

“Did Derek send you?” Isaac asks and Stiles wants to laugh because he's acting exactly like Scott asked him to ( _'Take care of him like I would, okay?'_ Stiles heard him telling Isaac a few hours before they left Beacon Hills).

“No!” He rushes to say. “I work at the station so I knew who and where you were.”

“Then go ahead.” Stiles says, uncomfortable. Although Boyd doesn't look like he's going to hurt them, it's always hard for Stiles to trust new people. He blames the Magic and his tie to Beacon Hills, his experience with other supernatural creatures, and of course, Boyd's connection to Derek.

“Do you know about the Argents, right?” _Shit,_ Stiles thinks and by the look of Isaac's face he's thinking the same thing.

“Yeah.” He answers immediately. Kate, Gerard and their coven love to hunt other supernatural beings. And even though some supernatural beings hunt others, the Argents don't have a reason to do so. They aren't after power or revenge or any other thing, they kill for _fun._ They are the worst kind of people – if they could be called that. “What is it this time?”

“They are here. They were after the fairies that live near Hailey, but -”

“Yeah, I heard. It was all over the news.” Fairies are Stiles' favorite beings in the world, they are sweet and friendly but if you fight them they will fight you back three times harder. “But I thought they ran to another state since word says Gerard was severely injured.”

“Yeah, but apparently they just ran from the fairies' territory and hid somewhere in the forest.” Boyd starts pacing around the room. “We captured a member of their coven and he said they are after the werewolves – said they are going to control us to fight the fairies again.”

“You want our help to stop them?” He asks incredulous. There are crazy plans (and Stiles is the king of crazy plans) and then there is _this._ “You want to go against Gerard and Kate and the others alone?”

“No!” Boyd said. “The cops are already on it. I need your help to protect my girlfriend.”

“What do you mean?” Isaac inquires and Stiles is glad he's not the only who doesn't understand this entire conversation.

“There are only three werewolves in Idaho right now and I'm counting Derek. But he's strong enough to protect himself and he has family to help him eventually. I only have other cops but – but Erica is pregnant.” Stiles flinches at the mention of her name and Boyd's eyes flash gold for a second before he turns to look out the window.

 _Oh no._ Erica is Boyd's girlfriend and Stiles almost hurt her just because of his stupid jealousy – the same jealousy he has no right to feel anymore. How desperate Boyd might be to come looking for the help of a guy who almost hurt his girlfriend and his child?

God, Stiles really is a mess.

“I'm sorry.” He whispers softly, eyes watering and the guilt making the Magic vibrates. “I'm so sorry, I don't – fuck, Boyd.”

“It's okay.” He says, but it's not. Isaac reaches out for his shoulder and Stiles shakes his head, silently asking him to stay away.

“No, it really isn't.” His stomach turns and he feels sick, disgusted with himself. “I almost – I wanted to –”

“Stiles.” Boyd says, staring at him with a hard look. “I know.” _'I know what Derek did to you, I know why you were angry'_ his eyes say and Stiles feels thankful for the silent understanding, but the guilt will not go away any time soon.

“I will help you.” He says resolute. “It's the least I can do.”

Boyd smiles thankful. “Thank you.”

–– 

“You understand why I'm going, right?” Derek asks and Stiles cries harder. They've been talking for two hours but the tears won't stop falling. He feels weak and spent – not able to use the magic even if he wanted to.

“Yes.” He sobs. Derek sighs, pulls him into a hug again. “Fuck, I'm so sorry.”

“For the last time Stiles, it's not your fault.” Derek whispers in his ear, voice hoarse. If at first he was trying to look strong for Stiles, now he's just crying openly too.

“But it is.” He shouts, angrily. He hates when people lie to him, it's doesn't make things better – in fact, it's worse. “If I knew how to control it you wouldn't leave me. You wouldn't leave your family.”

“Two years Stiles.” Derek reminds him. “I'll be gone for two years and you'll learn. I know you will.”

“Of course, I will.” Stiles repeats because Derek believes he can, so Stiles will find a way to do it for him. “When you come back there won't be houses exploding and ghouls or vampires and thunders. No more fire and people dying. I will do it.”

“I know.” Derek whispers. “And then we'll build our house and wake up together every day.”

“And have sex on the kitchen table and in your car.”

“Don't forget the shower.”

“Never.” He adds pitifully. Derek kisses his temple, caresses his back under his shirt. It feels soothing somehow. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Derek left for two years and Stiles worked. He worked and trained and used spells. He protected the town and helped Deaton and things were better.

And then they weren't.

They weren't when Matt Daehler shot his dad and Stiles lost control and burned another house and a little girl almost died.

Things were better until Stiles almost drunk himself into an alcoholic coma.

–– 

They have breakfast at the coffee shop down the road and Stiles calls his dad and Scott to inform the trip will take more time than expected.

Dad yells at him for getting arrested and Stiles shudders because his dad is the scariest person in the world. He keeps saying Stiles is grounded for the rest of his life and when Stiles reminds him he's a 26 year-old adult responsible for himself his dad growls a _'we'll see'_.

The other call is better. Scott laughs until he cries and then laughs some more, Allison takes the phone from him to tell Stiles she's glad he's okay and then Scott is back to make fun of him again. It cheers him up because it's familiar and after Scott hangs up, Stiles is able to make jokes and laugh with Isaac again.

Boyd doesn't mention Derek but tells them about his relationship with Erica and Stiles can see the love in his eyes, can feel the spark of happiness radiating from his body.

The Magic inside Stiles is sensitive to feelings – his more than the others' – so happiness and love makes him jittery, like the Magic is dancing and singing playfully inside him, sadness and anger on the other hand, it burns and vibrates – the Magic trying to forcefully push its way out of him.

It got easier to recognize the difference from the good Magic and the bad, the one he can use to help people and the one that destroys things. Deaton didn't have the bad kind because he learned to suppress it, but Ms. Morell was more helpful, guiding Stiles through the process of finding his own anchor.

“Anything else for you?” The waitress asks while collecting their empty plates.

“Another coffee for me, please.” Boyd says gesturing to his mug.

She smiles at him and turns to Stiles expectantly. “No thanks, I'm good.”

“How will you survive today?” Boyd jokes.

“I learned to live without it.” He shrugs. “Among other things.”

“You mean, no coffee ever?”

“And alcohol.” He completes.

“Is it because of your control?” Boyd asks and then immediately looks guilty. “Sorry, you don't have to answer.”

“It's okay.” He smiles and nods to Isaac whose eyes were golden again. “I went through some bad stuff and I'm not talking about what you obviously already knows.” The _'Derek breaking up with me'_ and _'burned a house with people inside'_ going unsaid. “So I did research, I practiced and learned. This things –” He gestures to the coffee the waitress served them. “I don't need them, so I stopped. A friend said bacon is not necessary either but I'm not actually stupid.” He jokes and Boyd laughs.

“Erica stopped drinking coffee too, because of the baby. Mornings are scary.”

“I bet.” Isaac snickers. Before Boyd can retort his phone rings and the look on his face after answering is the only warning Stiles needs.

“Lead the way.”

–– 

Sex is awesome, Stiles knows, but sex with Derek is even better.

He will never believe that for some time he tried to convince himself he wanted to have sex with other people, because there's no way it would be as amazing as the sex with Derek.

“You're rambling again.” Derek says in the middle of sucking a hickey on Stiles' neck.

“You should do something about it then.” He moans, spreads his legs and bites Derek's ear lobe.

“I thought you hated gags.” He tilts his head to lick Stiles' bottom lip. Stiles moans louder at the sight of Derek's eyes filled with lust and his disheveled hair. 

“I hate you.” Derek laughs one last time before nuzzling at Stiles' temple and starts to kiss his way down Stiles' chest.

“I know.” He says, kisses the head of Stiles' cock. Stiles loves Derek's mouth and he's sure Derek knows because he keeps using it to drive Stiles insane. 

“Fuck.” Stiles groans and he makes sure to be loud. He knows Derek loves to hear everything. 

Derek works one finger inside his hole easily and when Stiles looks down to order him to fucking move his head already, he's taken back by Derek's blue eyes and his devious smile. “Fuck Derek.” He cries when Derek runs his tongue over Stiles' balls and the underside of his cock until he gets to the head and swallows him in one swift movement.

Stiles is not ashamed by the way he mewls and holds Derek's hair for dear life, because Derek's mouth is amazing and Stiles loves letting him know that.

“Oh my god.” He sobs. Derek presses another finger inside him, twists them around while sucking Stiles' cock harder. Stiles makes the mistake of looking down again – because he loves to watch Derek's mouth stretched around him – and when he sees Derek touching himself, running his thumb over the head just where Stiles knows he's more sensitive, it's so hot and overwhelming he's arching his back and opening his mouth to ask for more. When Derek's finger brushes against his prostate, it's over, with a silent cry he comes all over Derek's face and collapses on the bed, completely spent.

Later, after his brain starts working again he rides Derek slowly, enjoys the feeling of being connected to him – the magic spinning around them, making the air heavy and luscious.

In the morning, when Stiles' dad comes home from his night shift he finds all the windows broken and barges into Stiles' room just to find him and Derek completely naked. 

His dad yelps, closes the door and doesn't talk to Stiles for hours.

–– 

They drive Boyd's car to the other side of the town where Derek told Boyd Erica's scent fades. He can feel the panic and fear coming in waves from Boyd and even Isaac looks a little scared. Stiles, on the other hand, was always good at keeping himself calm when under stress – mostly because he needs to keep the Magic at bay.

There's a scream followed by a howl and Boyd is out of the car faster than Stiles can blink, Isaac following with his werewolf speed, leaving Stiles to keep up as fast as he can manage.

When he turns the corner he's stricken by the smell of blood and needs to close his eyes for a second to shield himself from the nausea. Taking a moment to look at the scene in front of him and think about the best way to proceed with his plans, he notices Derek bleeding profusely on the floor, Boyd and Isaac in front of him – both ready to attack – and Gerard and Kate standing in front of a pale Erica (who thankfully doesn't look hurt), grinning like they won a battle.

His emotions are mixed and Stiles struggles to tell them apart, there's fear and concern, there's also love and pain, but they are useless right now so he puts them aside and cleans space for the anger.

It's Kate who senses him first and her face flashes with fear before she's able to hide it under her mask of confidence. _Yeah, remember me?_

“Look who's here.” She hisses. Gerard turns to look at him too, curious. “Stilinski.” She informs her father and his smile falters. “Allison's little friend from Beacon Hills. How is she? Still married to the dog?”

“They have two kids.” Stiles snaps back. “Both werewolves. They call her mommy and Chris is their grandaddy.” He grins when Gerard face twists with disgust at the mention of his son. 

Even hurt, Stiles knows Gerard is stronger than him, so he just hopes to distract them and wait for the cops to arrive. “Scum.” Kate spits. “All of them.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Stiles shrugs. “I still remember your speech.” He never fought Gerard, but Kate is an old enemy – he came across her more times than he can count – and she never changed. Same speech, same way of fighting.

She is reckless with the attacks, perhaps because she's used to her father having her back, but Stiles is okay with it. He can outrun her in a heart beat and he's really proud of himself for it.

Today is not different. She tries everything, from water, to fire, even snakes and the angrier she gets, the more obvious her movements become. Stiles blocks every spell, throws some of his own and when it seems like Gerard is about to interfere they hear the sirens. Boyd runs to get Erica while Isaac rushes for Derek like Stiles instructed, and once they are all set, with one quick sway of his hand he uses the lavender to confuse Gerard and Kate's senses and runs.

–– 

“Did the vampires leave town?” Ms. Morell asks as soon as she steps inside Deaton's clinic. 

“Yes.” Deaton sighs, because dealing with vampires is nasty. There's blood and corpses, not mentioning the fact that they won't _fucking die_. One would think you can just stab them in the heart and vacuums their ashes, but no – there's a whole ritual and it's exhausting.

“Finally!” Scott cheers from the bathroom where he's getting rid of the vampire's blood.

“How did it go?” She asks and Stiles lowers his head when Deaton tilts his chin at him like saying _ask him_. “How did it go?” Ms. Morell repeats and Stiles grunts, slips a hand through his hair before looking at her.

“I wasn't able to light the fire so one of them attacked Isaac.” Fortunately, he was fast enough to avert the bite, but Stiles will never forget the panic that came from him. “Then Talia lit the match and Scott helped her set the vampire on fire.” He ends weakly and Scott comes from behind him to put a hand on his shoulder.

“The important part is that we're all alive.” He says and Stiles snorts sadly.

“Yes.” Deaton says, looking from Scott to Stiles and then to his sister. “I'm going home, Scott will you close for me?”

“Sure!”

“Good. Stiles –” Deaton gives him a grim stare. “train harder.” With a nod he leaves and Stiles drops his head on Scott's chest.

“What happened?” Ms. Morell asks.

“I don't know!” He yells as Scott squeezes his shoulder. “I did what he said! I imagined myself lighting the fire, I imagined the match and everything but it didn't work! I don't know what else to do!” He's desperate and the only reason he didn't give up yet is because he owes it to _himself._

He can't give up because Derek was supposed to be home two years ago, but Stiles wasn't ready so he never came back. He has to do it because last time he wasn't strong enough to defeat Kate Argent before she burned an entire hospital down.

He needs to prove Derek is wrong, that his call two weeks ago – saying it's over for good, that he can't come back and live with someone so dangerous, someone able to accidentally kill him or his family – was a mistake.

He can't give up because he wants Derek to love him again.

“My brother was always comfortable with his magic.”

“Yeah.” Scott says. “He always tells us they are part of himself.”

“Exactly.” She says and when Stiles looks up, she raises an eyebrow. “His magic is part of him. What about yours?” Stiles decides the cryptic and complex personality must be a family thing, but then he understands what she means and suddenly everything makes sense, even the Magic seems calmer somehow.

“The Magic is inside me, but it's not me.”

“Yes.” She nods.

“I can use it because it lives inside me.”

“Magic works differently for everyone. My brother uses the Magic inside him like it's his.” She points. “But it doesn't mean the Magic inside you, will allow you to do the same.”

“Oh.” He says baffled while Ms. Morell simply waves a goodbye and leaves.

–– 

They all meet three blocks down and Boyd instructs the other cops to where Gerard and Kate were before hugging Erica tightly and thanking him and Isaac for the help. Erica cries while she hugs them and Stiles cries after apologizing for the way he acted the day before (she punches his arm before shaking her head and invites them to her house).

Derek hugs her and Boyd, claps Isaac on the back but doesn't direct one look at Stiles – if it wasn't for Erica squeezing his hand and tugging him along, Stiles is sure Derek would have left by now.

Stiles can feel the tension between them growing and Erica keeps directing a look at them, like she wants to say something but every time she tries Boyd interrupts, asking what she wants to eat, if she's okay feeling and if they should go to the doctor. Stiles doesn't know if he's relieved about the distraction or not – he feels like if she mentioned something at least Derek would look at him, maybe if she asked, Derek would _have_ to talk.

But as it is, they just keep pretending they can't see each other for the entire morning. 

And then everything changes.

When Erica asks for a book and they both reach out for it, their hands touch and it feels like the world turns upside down.

Because that spark, it still feels like the same as when they first kissed.

“What the fuck?” Stiles questions, because that spark shouldn't exist anymore. Derek said it was over, and if he doesn't feel the same way, the spark shouldn't be there. “What the fuck?” He repeats enraged, but Derek – after recovering from his own stupor – ignores the question and turns around to say goodbye to the others.

“No!” Stiles shouts. “You don't get to leave! Not again, you fucking asshole! Not until you tell me what's going on!”

“Or what?” Derek growls, eyes flashing blue and Stiles rolls his eyes at the attempt of intimidation. “You'll burn Erica and Boyd's house like you did with that sign yesterday?” It's meant to hurt but Stiles is not blinded by rage and jealousy now, he can notice everything he didn't before - like how Derek averts his eyes when he talks.

“Four years Derek! Four fucking years I waited for you and you never came back.” He snaps ignoring Derek's question. “And then you called and what – fucking lied to me?”

“You're crazy.”

“No, you're not getting out of this conversation!” Stiles replies and Derek crosses his arms over his chest in a perfect imitation of monotony but his shoulders are tense, and Stiles wants to laugh because yeah, maybe he's acting a little crazy right now but he's _allowed_ to. “Why did you lie to me? If you wanted more time you could have said so! You didn't have to make me believe you hated me!”

“I do –”

“No!” He cuts. He's just so sick of lies and excuses. “You don't hate me! I know you don't!” Stiles swallows around the lump in his throat, slips a hand through his hair. “Why Derek?” He whispers, the Magic settling down in his chest – trying to comfort him, but still prepared for anything Stiles decides to do. “I know I fucked up, but I promised I would keep training. I kept training!” At the corner of his eyes he can see Boyd moving to hold Erica while she cries, her hand trying to muffle the sobs. Isaac must be with them but Stiles doesn't turn to check, afraid Derek will run if he does. “If you didn't love me anymore, you should –”

“You were killing yourself!” Derek screams, finally letting his facade falls as he waves his hands desperately in the air. “You burned four houses, Stiles! Four! And you exploded more cars than we could count!” He feels the anger and the guilt then, coming from Derek in waves and joining Stiles' own feelings floating around the room. “And even if I tried to say you it wasn't your fault, you kept stealing your dad's whiskey and drinking until you forgot everything!”

Stiles' heart is hammering inside his chest and he can't breathe, the guilt crushing his chest and the Magic an annoying buzz inside his head. “What was I supposed to do? You couldn't be with me without losing control and hurting someone –” Derek points. “then you'd feel guilty, drink and do something stupid! Do you know how many times I stayed awake watching over you because I was afraid you were going to end up killing yourself?”

“No.” He whispers as the tears start falling.

“Me neither, because after the tenth time I stopped counting!” A vase explodes behind them making Erica scream alarmed. Stiles thinks takes a deep breath, orders the Magic down. “I loved you too much, Stiles. I needed to do something!” _Loved,_ past tense. He closes his eyes, pain making the Magic burn in his chest. “Your hatred for yourself was only weaker than your love for me, but I didn't know for how long that was going to be enough.”

“So you left.” He sniffs, wiping the tears off his face.

“I used to think 'what if one day he gets too drunk and I'm not around to stop him?' all the time. 'What if one day I'm working with my mom and I get a call from his dad telling me he's dead?'. Then what Stiles?” He presses. “Then what would I do?”

“Derek.” Stiles whispers softly. “I promised you, I –”

“I was at the airport when my mom called me.” He interrupts and Stiles looks up confused. “You were in coma.”

“No!” He cries. He made his dad and Scott promise nobody else knew! He made them promise Derek wouldn't hear about that! “That had nothing to do with the Magic, Derek – my dad was shot and I -”

“It didn't matter Stiles!” Derek huffs, waving his hands around. “You almost died!” The look on his face is devastating and Stiles takes a step closer, wanting to touch him – make him see he's here, he's okay – but Derek snarls for him to stay away.

“Please.” Stiles begs. “Please, don't do this.”

“I gave you two more years! I used to think it was going to be enough! And then I would come back and explain why I did everything.”

“Derek –” He tries again, sobbing desperately.

“But I couldn't, Stiles! Not if it meant you would kill yourself. I made you hate me and never came back.” He sighs, looks Stiles in the eye for the first time since they met again. “But you had to come to Idaho, follow me and almost set us on fire right?” He smiles sadly and Stiles can't take it anymore. Still sobbing he throws himself at Derek – hugs him with all the strength he still has.

For a moment he thinks Derek is going to push him away so he whispers _'please, Derek'_ and then, slowly, Derek circles his arms around Stiles' waist and hugs him back.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” Stiles sobs. “I drove you away – I'm so sorry.”

“Shut up.” Derek mumbles against his neck. “Still not your fault.”

–– 

“This is not normal.” Deaton says and Stiles' dad sighs beside him. Stiles can't help but snort, because yeah, welcome to his life.

“You and your bad luck kiddo.”

“Tell me about it.”

“This is not just about you Stiles.” Deaton warns and Stiles narrows his eyes, confused. “It's hard for some people to control their magic, but the way yours is so independent – there must have an outside agent affecting it.”

“But – what?”

“Magic comes from nature, some people have more and some have less. Mages like us – we are born with the ability to control it, while other supernatural beings like vampires or werewolves for that matter, their ability to control their natural magic is more difficult.”

“I know.” Stiles says. His mom left him a thousand books explaining everything. “We are also able to feel it all around us and sometimes it affects our own magic. But it must be something really strong for it to happen.”

“Indeed. A strong connection to other magic source, like a plant.”

“Or another supernatural being.” He says, thinking about the way he feels every time he's around Scott and the Hale Pack and – oh, oh no. Not Derek. “Oh.”

“It's possible.”Deaton confirms and Stiles' dad sighs again.

–– 

“It was never about not loving you.” Derek whispers in his ear. “It was _never_ about not loving you.”

“But you still do, right?” Stiles asks, suddenly feeling like he's eighteen again, kissing Derek in the Camaro, holding hands after a date, having sex for the first time.

“Yes.” Derek says, pulling back to look at Stiles. “Of course I do. I love you.”

“Then come back with me. Come to Beacon Hills, come home.”

“Stiles, you heard me. I can't – ”

“No.” He punches Derek's arm. “I can control it. Yesterday I was angry and I wanted to hurt you, sorry again Erica –” He adds and Erica yells _'I'll think about it'_ from the kitchen. “But I'm good. I'm ready.”

“Stiles.” Derek sighs and Stiles is about to argue when Isaac interrupts.

“He is, Derek.” He smiles when Derek looks at him. “You saw him today – and he did a lot more protecting Beacon Hills. He's ready.” Derek blinks and looks at Stiles for a minute. “Take a chance.” Isaac adds before going to join Boyd and Erica in the kitchen.

“I have a house.” Stiles says. “It's close to the woods, it has a porch and a backyard. You can bring your things if you want or we could build something. You always wanted a house with a huge –”

“Stiles.” Derek shushes him and smiles. “You're rambling.” It's that same familiar argument between them, it makes Stiles smile happily. _Finally._

“You should to something about it then.” He steps closer, brushes his lips against Derek's.

“Gladly.”

–

“Morning, can I help you?”

“Where's Scott?”

“Hum, he had a date so I'm covering for him. But, hum –“ Stiles coughs shyly. “do you want something?”

“Yeah, everything in this list –” He handles a paper and then smiles. “and your name.”

“Oh.” Stiles says, stupidly. “I'll get your things in a minute.” He points to the back room. “And, hum – my name is Stiles.”

“Nice to meet you. I'm Derek.”

**Author's Note:**

> If it looks familiar, don't worry, I posted this before then deleted, edited and decided to post it again.  
> Yeah, I'm confusing like that. Sorry.
> 
> You can yell at me on [tumblr](http://www.brookesbutler.tumblr.com) if you want!  
> Hope you liked it!


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